"My husband, Matt, returned from a business trip last week and asked me this question: If you had to give up either hot water or sex, which would it be? Matt teaches company executives about the value of laughter and play, and I trust him completely, but still. Hot water or sex?
"Tell me about your business trip," I said nonchalantly. He laughed. "Just answer the question."
"Could we still kiss? Hug?" I asked. He nodded his head yes. "Now, answer the question."
"Sex," I said after a few long minutes.
"Okay," he said, "here's the next question. If you had to give up either hot water or laughter, what would you choose?" "Hot water," I said. "Without laughter, the rest wouldn't mean very much."
...So, here's my suggestion: Let yourself have what you love. One piece of it, one little bit of it, each day. You need to start small so you don't overwhelm yourself… if, even as you read these words, you are saying to yourself, "I can't be satisfied with just one little bite." How do you know until you try?...
All any of us ever want is to feel wonder, pleasure, peace and contentment, but the way we go about it—by depriving ourselves of what we love—sabotages our deepest longing. This much I promise you: Your world will be a better place when you realize you can have what you love without gaining 1,000 pounds. When you allow yourself to have what you love, you realize you are someone upon whom love can be lavished.
And if anyone happens to ask you to choose either laughter or chocolate, tell them that you'll take both..."
This is an excerpt from an article by Geneen Roth, who will be on Oprah today, July 12, 2010. Roth has appeared on many national television shows, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, 20/20, The NBC Nightly News, The View and Good Morning America. Articles about Roth and her work have appeared in numerous publications, including O, The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Time, Elle, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune and The Philadelphia Inquirer. She has written a monthly column in Good Housekeeping magazine since 2007. Roth is the author of eight books, including The New York Times best-seller When Food Is Love and a memoir about love and loss, The Craggy Hole in My Heart. Women, Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything is her newest book.
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I am dealing with this (obsessing over this may be a more accurate description), right now, as I have been for nearly four-and-a-half decades. It is certainly no secret, at this point, that I am fat. And I am simply stating that fact - not shouting it from the rooftops, in a defiant accept-me-or-else challenge. It's just the way it is. I see it. Others see it. It's just there. And it is my current reality. From the time of my early teens, back when Twiggy was the super-model of the day, until this very moment, I have been dealing with my "weight problem." Sadly, I had NO problem, physically, for about the first 25 of those years! Then, childbearing, misdiagnosed hypothyroidism, unknown fibromyalgia, and finally Type 2 diabetes, and all the hormonal turmoil accompanying each of those, along with one-size-fits-all dieting, helped my body match the picture in my mind.Well, that, and self-medicating/comforting myself with junk foods, especially sweets. Funny how the mind-body connection works like that.
But I am beginning to see things, and myself, in a different frame of mind now. Not a giving up mindset, but a FORgiving one. Forgiving myself, forgiving others who I may believe were instrumental in ushering me onto this path (often unknowingly, or misguidedly, out of love) and becoming the better me - spiritually, mentally, emotionally, AND physically. How will this change me? My body? Not sure. But my intention is that I will consistently be changed - and changing - for the better, in whatever form that takes.
Maybe Geneen's ideas will help someone else out there too.
